When?

Where?

What?

How much?

HOW MUCH???

Why?

No really. What's the true story?

A darkened room, in the last floor of one of the Azrieli towers, late on some weekend night. The only light sources are the city lights coming through the windows and several black candles which are spread around the room. Mounted on one of the walls is a golden emblem of a pyramid with an eye hovering above it in the air. A thick smoke of suspiciously sweet odor fills the air.

Sitted around a big wooden desk are the members and other organs of the legendary yet non existent IGLU Cabal. Huge half-full beer steins coated with gold and adorned with the Holy Penguin(tm) are set before them. In the soft light from the candles, the faces of the few, the proud, the socially inapt can be seen around the table:

Moshe Zadka is attempting to compress a big cardboard poster of Ira Abramov into a form less offending to his topological sensibilities. Next to him sits Muli, dressed in a leather jacket, pounding away relentlessly at the keyboard of a big mutated laptop painted in psychedelic colors with the inscriptions "Born to Unix" and "Code free or Die" splattered across its front, bursting from time to time in mad laughter. Next to them Shachar Shemesh is playing feverishly with a Rubik's hypercube while Choo is seeping Ensure++ from his beer stein.

On the other side of the table Nadav is sitting between two huge piles of printer paper reading endless printouts of spam email, only stopping from time to time to enter a small modification in his 2,937,324,212 lines spam filter which little to his knowledge has gone sentient 3 sub-revisions ago and is now working during idle time on producing the great unified theory of space, time, the universe and everything using tiny bits of messages implanted in SPAM messages that other sentient SPAM filter program around the world have sent it. Next to him Omer Zak is busy sticking coaxial cable connectors into a little wax doll dressed in a business suite with the inscription "TV Mogul" smeared on its back in what appears to be some sort of red liquid substance.

Way back in the shadow the broken figure of Gilad can be seen. He is dressed in a black robe which covers him completely; its hood covers his face so that the only part of him which is visible are his eyes, which are colored such a deep fluorescent red that it almost goes into infrared. In his hand he is holding a huge smoking spliff. It seems that he is to blame for the thick suspiciously sweet odor in the room. To his side sits Shlomi Fish, playing Freecell. Other people around the table are doing unnamed things to their laptops, themselves or others.

At the front of the table stands their fearless NON leader, 'MAV the terrible'. He is a tall man. His hair, once black, is now strewn with white. His eyes shine with a menacing gleam. His face is locked in a constant grimace of constrained anger, like a person forced to use MS Word. In his hand he is holding a differential SCSI cable.

The fearless NON leader speaks; In the background the sound of a group of monks chanting in Anglo Saxon can be heard over his voice: "Vell Vell mine kinders, fellow geeks, nerds and Linux freaks. You have all done very well. Our time has finally come. Triumph is at hand. My calculation shows that the combined effect of that AP press story, the Bidi OpenOffice release and the discussions among government officials about government support for Open Source will suffice to enable us to go to Phase Two. It is therefore high time that I shared the plans for this stage with you."

A murmur rushes through the crowd. The fearless NON leader snaps his fingers; a beam of light cuts through the smoke filled air and a white screen behind the fearless NON leader appears as if by magic. A film showing two dwarves molesting a sheep and shouting in Italian begins to screen. "Ahm.. sorry 'bout that", mutters the fearless NON leader and snaps his fingers once again. The screen flickers, and the movie is replaced with a still picture of a penguin suite wearing, splurge gun carrying, mob attacking the Tel-Aviv Cinemateque.

"The final stage of operation 'August Penguin' shall take place on August 2nd, 09:00 hours in the morning. After taking over the Tel-Aviv Cinemateque screening room number 2, we shall commence with a 3 hours festivity of Linux lectures, chit-chat and other perversions. The highlight of the event will the screening of Revolution OS - a movie about our worldwide movement, after which we shall raid the food and beer houses surrounding the premises and partake in jolly eating and drinking. You are all invited."

The fearless NON leader smiles. It is a nice little smile that makes the viewer extremely worried. Somewhere in the world, someone must be in great pain or has used some extremely obscure word from a dead and almost forgotten language in otherwise mundane communication.

"World domination now!"

"World Domination NOW!"

"WORLD DOMINATION NOW!"

Shlomi Fish stops playing freecell.

Be square and be there.
Friday, August 2nd, 09:00 the Cinemateque, Tel-Aviv.
August Penguin by IGLU, proving once again that Penguins *can* fly.